What To Do, What To Do..?

I've been thinking again, with the whole mess of things which are occurring right now. In the very least, I'm frustrated and scared. I'm not really one to trust others with my emotions, after all...

I Know I Shouldn't

....but I really miss Mr. Virgo...

He's currently mad at me again and I'm not sure why but he's been very intent on ignoring me...but at least he isn't going out of his way to ignore me, I suppose...

I don't know what to do

Guess Who's Back!

Well, following the utter disaster that is my life right now, I've finally managed to crawl my way back to blogging. Excuse my attitude, I don't usually let it show so much, however I'm rather stressed and am in desperate need of writing as an escape, aha.

Good News!!

I'm rather excited today!

Last night, Mr. Taurus asked me to accompany him to a dance this Saturday, and I hopefully will be able to go (as my parents are being tough on me). In addition, I was able to bring up one of my grades a good amount in a class that is giving me so, so, very much stress.
So, this week has been a good week so far! I'll see where tomorrow ends and hopefully--along with Saturday--it will be good!

Thoughts

Today I feel rather stressed. High-strung, impatient, and restless--all not very good for me at all, aha.

Perhaps I'm just on edge on something that is to happen but anticipating it way too much. Preparation can only do so much in love, after all, it is a rather fickle matter. Despite this, I'll just sip my tea with my legs crossed daintily in hopes that everything will calm down sooner rather than later.

Updates~

In all honesty, I feel like I'm on cloud 9!

Things are going well with Mr. Taurus, though no relationship yet (but still very good progress). He's starting to be more aloof, though...I mean, he does want to talk and texts back just as quickly, but in person he's more quiet and I, as a worrier, feel like I'm doing something wrong, or--perhaps--he is starting to like me more and is getting nervous (he is like that as a person and was afraid to like me more than he does because he didn't want our relationship to suffer as he would have difficulty with mussing up courage to talk to me).

So..

I was just reading the Horoscope.com love horoscope for Virgo since I do find reading the different ones interesting, but today's made me want to giggle:
The planetary alignment enlivens your outlook, and brings a feeling of optimism regarding your latest romantic endeavors. There is certainly nothing ordinary about the events of today, or the people you are likely to meet. You may find one person in particular not only devastatingly attractive, but also of a sound, original, and witty mind, which for you, is like a red cloak to a bull.
Well, I don't know, it just made me think of Mr. Taurus who I do find *exaggeratedly* absolutely devastatingly handsome and does also have a particular sense of humor and thinking and is completely and utterly 'swoon-worthy'. If he ever does see this, well....

My bad.

But it isn't like he doesn't know already--in fact, he seems to seem more self-confident around me, which is nice, including the special treatment. I don't usually like so much attention from someone, but this is a little more subtle and private so it's rather sweet, I suppose.

Musings

I must admit that I'm glad Mr. Taurus is very patient with my worrisome and excitable nature...In the past two weeks I've asked him about our relationship (still not dating, however, he would like to. I don't think he's completely sure quite yet) just about twenty times, haha!
As for giving him practically all of my affections, he admitted that he loves it, so there is that. I have noticed that he likes to show off quite a bit and does say things to claim me (as in, "you're mine") but gets a bit embarrassed after the fact. In fact, practically anything pertaining to romance and affection makes him a bit nervous, so I try not to shower him in affection as much in public or at least ask him first so he won't die from said nervousness (from which he appreciates the gesture).

Tfw

...you give cookies to your crush and can't even talk because you're so nervous--

I don't even know why...Like, I try to talk and reply and stuff, but no words come out and my face and hands get all warm. I know that he's very sweet and that I shouldn't be so tongue-tied because--I mean--I talk to him all the time over text.

Ahh...

...tfw Mr. Taurus is giving you mixed signals--

Goodness, I'd love to be more forward, but I've just retired to taking things slowly since he doesn't like the idea of relationships at an early age :C

Worries...?

I've currently been in a downwards slump since Friday. As I am a chronic worrier, I haven't received a text back from Mr. Taurus since then, so hopefully he's alright. I think he's just busy or taking a thinking break or something....

I hope I didn't come off as overbearing--I just get enthusiastic with talking to others, I suppose.

Actually

..scratch that last post out.

I'll be completely fine. I don't need to mope because I was rejected by a really awesome person. If I'm going to be "friendzoned", might as well make the best of it and be really damn good friends with him!! Anyway, I'd miss talking to him.

And Yet Again...

When a Virgo feels heartbroken, they tend to withdrawal their cheery outgoing nature revealed and hide back in their shell. At this time, they may seem cold and detached, and won't be much of a conversationalist. Fragile Virgo, especially when deep in the ideals of love, won't be able to cope well with the fact that their feelings aren't returned, and will blame themselves. In this bout of frustration, they tend to be over-critical with themselves.

Source: Being rejected yet again.

Patiently Anxious

Currently, I'm waiting for a text back from Mr. Taurus (he won't be able to see it until later, though)...Being a mostly organized person, I would like to keep my feelings "in check" and certainly make sure that if I am feeling this way for someone, that they feel the same.
Hopefully, we'd still be friends either way...I'd very much miss talking to him if things become awkward...
Oh dear, now I'm having second thoughts...

For now, I'll retire to listening to music while doing an assignment.

Guess What:

So, now, apparently [and thank you to a friend of mine from Rifle Team] I have a boyfriend. I can completely say that I am taken aback of the suddeness, but it really is nice. And it isn't Mr. A, believe it or not. I mean, he [reffering to "my boyfriend", which I still have trouble calling him that] and I were almost forced to kiss directly [and this was because our two friends who were attempting to get us to kiss found out that both of us have never been kissed--nor kissed someone].
Anyway, no one was injured [I was a tad bit scared that my boyfriend--at the time for about ten minutes--would have been sent to the emergency room. His friend was rather forceful, if I must clarify], so that turned out good, and we didn't end up kissing, too, as the bus arrived convienently so we could escape our friends.

Hahaha. So, yesterday was interesting.

About My Hiatus:

So, as I took an extened "break" from this blog during Spring Break, I would apologize, though I find that rather unneccesary, because I simply forgot. Though, then again, I guess that I could.

So, I apologize.

I really have no excuse for my absence, so this is just about all I have to say about that.

Hm~ [aka, more news about Mr. Aquarius...]

So, I recently found out something about Mr. Aquarius. My friend had over-heard him talking with a friend during classes and I was the "subject" of it [as I had attended Rifle Team practice on Monday]. He [Mr. A] seemed worried as how the conversation went and with my friend's perception of it, and she also said that when they were talking, his friend had said "your girlfriend showed up" [hahaha], though he was confused [as he is single] until his friend said "[insert my last name here], you know, the you like."
Further more, even as I believed that it was some sort of cruel April Fools trick [I am not very fond of that *holiday*], Mr. Aquarius and I were talking before the end of school and he brought up that he had heard from a friend that I attended a Rifle Team meet when the instructor was yelling [actually, he was using a very quiet tone. Very scary, no kidding], and asked me about it.

So, HAHAHA.


Take that, doubts!

Speaking Of Mr. Aquarius...

And now that I have finally remembered what I was going to post about, here it is..

So you know this Aquarius guy I keep bringing up? Well, I forgot to mention something. Sometime around the end of February, I had mustered up enough courage to ask him to the Military Ball [we are both in JROTC and he is, in fact, my squad leader who is two years my senior]. You should have seen me when he said yes.
I didn't believe it at first, though when I realized it was "for real", I literally wanted to jump up and hug him. So, now it is 23 March, and the Military Ball is coming up on the 12th of April. I'm pretty excited, actually.

Going off topic for a bit, I really need to finish cleaning my room. It's already clean, according to my parents, but it just doesn't seem clean enough...

I really can't wait for the ball...I already have a dress, shoes, and [since he can't drive yet...over here, you have to get driving classes then wait a year until you are able to drive without an instructor/supervisor] we will meet there. I'm sort of hoping that I could get enough courage [not to mention my parents' approval] to meet for lunch with him [I know that he would say yes, but I just am not quite ready mentally...aka still paranoid].
But really. I think that this should have been mentioned a while ago...who said that Aquarians and Virgoans aren't compatible? Not me!