I'm Not Sure What To Think...

Alrighty, so I was skimming through some other horoscope websites and I happened upon something that is equally intriguing and possibly true.

What To Do, What To Do..?

I've been thinking again, with the whole mess of things which are occurring right now. In the very least, I'm frustrated and scared. I'm not really one to trust others with my emotions, after all...

Incredulous--

Mr. Cancer and I have been talking quite a bit more and even video chatting until late. I'm still wondering how he really feels about me, though, but I'm sure he likes me at least a little bit, aha. Despite this, we were talking last night before he had to leave for practice at the OTC and he mentioned wearing sweatpants again (he tends to wear these, I noticed), but I ran into him this morning in what I vaguely remember as a navy button-up...something I mentioned to him as well-fitting.

I'm somewhat hoping that who I ran into was actually Mr. Cancer, but I won't admit it to him, haha. I mean, a well-dressed man isn't something I'd argue about, after all--

*Quiet Screaming*

Surprisingly enough....

It seems that even though this past two weeks have been possibly the worst of the entire year, he's actually stayed consistent and stuck with me, though I'm not really sure what he sees in me, aha.

Hopefully this isn't just me overthinking like usual, but maybe my hunch was right about him. It's possible that he does actually feel the same about me...

I sure hope so--

*Gasp!*

So, just yesterday a mutual friend between Mr. C and I was talking to me during class. Well, she mentioned talking to him about my relationship with him and then commented on how he said he didn't feel the same and how he was into someone else. Just before that she mentioned him bringing me up in a conversation asking her why she didn't want us together, so naturally, this sparked my interest--though I have to admit hearing her say that he didn't feel the same (despite his encouragement and support and overall affection towards me)hurt quite a bit and several tears were shed.

Well, continuing, once I was back at home, I made it a point to ask him about how he felt about me, and not to my surprise, he asked about why I was asking that (which I proceeded to explain) all the while essentially proving that our friend wasn't telling the truth to me.

I sincerely hope she isn't trying to stop us from being together, because it simply feels like this could really be something...hopefully it isn't just a hunch, though time will surely tell.

Something Else That Happened

Well, I was texting Mr. C the other day, and I noticed that he was encouraging me to talk to the guy that I like (as I told him I liked someone but was too nervous) and suggested that he might just be "looking" for someone to possibly be with. Of course, this raised a couple red flags, and being who I am I panicked.

After what felt like two hours while waiting for his reply, he simply stated that he knew I had a crush on him.

I'm still a little curious about why he was waiting for me to confess it was him upfront, as if he didn't mention knowing, then I would have never said who it was aha. I was actually just about to give up on him considering his popularity with some other girls (such as at homecoming OTL).

Anyway, maybe this is a good sign to continue on with this relationship perusing, ahaha

About Saturday

So, this past Saturday was homecoming for my school...I have to say it was my favorite one so far, aha.

Any way, besides the almost assured death due to a friend's driving and getting trapped in a rather large group of grinding young adults...it was pretty good. I also should point out that the same friend gave Mr. C a ride too, which was pleasant.

As for the dance itself, I'll try to keep it short when saying that I received a lot of good signals from him including him striking up a conversation with me or dancing with me (though I have to admit I can't dance ahaha). Another thing worth mentioning is that he texted me as soon as I was dropped off and we talked until midnight and yesterday (Sunday) and also this morning he texted me as soon as he woke up.

We talked quite a bit about who I'm crushing on since he did ask, but the way he replied led me to think that he's already aware of my crush--which, for me would be utterly embarrassing....am I that easy to read? But at the same time I feel that he might, too, be oblivious. We'll have to see how it turns out, I suppose.

So, despite the obvious signs, I don't know if he really does or doesn't like me...call me oblivious or perhaps insecure, but I usually need quite a bit more solid 'proof' that he does like me.

Confusion

I've been thinking for a while now, almost a week.

Of course, I've been hesitant to get back into dating after what has been happening with recent events.

I talked to some close friends for advice, as I know that I'm not too practiced in dating still and am clueless when it comes to dating first hand (though my advice is substantial), and she told me to talk to him more--though I'm not too sure if I'm ready for that yet, if that makes any sense.

I'm also a bit wary as I still don't know if he is dating someone despite his subtle flirting and giving me noticeably more attention when we're in the same room (we aren't close friends so we don't usually talk but now we do often).

Worst case scenario: He's dating someone and I'm being over analytical about his actions which means he's simply being friendly.

Best case scenario: He isn't dating anyone and these little things I'm noticing are--in fact--signs that he's interested.

I'll update again on this matter either Friday or Monday!

Have a good day~!

Take 2

Well, now considering that Mr. Leo is actually a Mr. Cancer, now something that has happened the other day makes more sense aha.

Regardless, it still stands that he's rather outgoing and rather boisterous. Though, if I think about it, he is on the Cancer-Leo cusp...

Anyway, in my bout of observing him yesterday (as, I'm still trying to figure out if he is interested), he had accidentally elbowed the back of my shoulder (rather hard, if I must say). Of course, I joked about it, saying that it hurt (which it did), and he immediately began to apologize in a soft voice. Granted, I rarely see him apologize or use a softer tone, but perhaps this is just me.

I've also noticed that he'd ask me every day how my shooting went for a match or practice, and if I had a particularly bad day, he'd offer a bit of consolation. It's somewhat shocking that he can be so 'in-your-face' one minute and sweet the next, but who am I to complain? I am the same way, after all.

So, maybe this will work out, maybe it won't....but, perhaps it could and that's what matters.

I Know I Shouldn't

....but I really miss Mr. Virgo...

He's currently mad at me again and I'm not sure why but he's been very intent on ignoring me...but at least he isn't going out of his way to ignore me, I suppose...

I don't know what to do

Guess Who's Back!

Well, following the utter disaster that is my life right now, I've finally managed to crawl my way back to blogging. Excuse my attitude, I don't usually let it show so much, however I'm rather stressed and am in desperate need of writing as an escape, aha.

Explanations For Recent Events

I realized that I did not explain about how I will be posting, aha..

Well, in the future, I will not (with rare times I will) be posting on the weekends, as I need that time for relaxing, and having to post every day--though quick--adds up to be quite taxing for me. It may be a lame excuse, but I do have a life, after all.
I've been having some family conflicts which are getting tougher and tougher to bear, yet it's close to impossible to avoid them because I do live with my immediate family (siblings and parents).

On a lighter note, however...

Oh!

So, um, by the way, I talked to Mr. Taurus about my worries/paranoia, and he--rather than telling me it was stupid to be paranoid or dismiss it--listened to what I had to say and reassured me and told me that it was okay to be worried. Ahhh, he's so sweet, I feel like I don't deserve him sometimes...
I also noticed that today he talked to me during our passing period (it was supposed to be about how his bike sucks and why it does because he was going to explain, but it was mostly us talking about random things aha).

Update From The Weekend: Part 2

I forgot to mention something.
Remember how I dated the other Virgo before? The one who was my first relationship? Well, he's made yet another appearance (he tends to come back all the time, anywhere from one week to one month away). He usually does this when he's feeling down or lonely or if he's in a really bad situation, but he's showing signs of jealousy towards Mr. Taurus (Mr. Virgo over here still sees me as his--in a way). This is not ideal at all.

Update From The Weekend

So, I went to a dance that Mr. Taurus invited me to on Saturday. It was rather nice; I had a lot of fun dancing with him...in fact, we slow danced several times. He seemed to be really comfortable in that setting, despite it being a little crowded, and stuck with me and one of our mutual friends the entire time. I still am not a great dancer, but it's alright, considering that my dance partner isn't really, either, haha.
I also met his parents that night, which was pleasant. They seemed to like me despite quite a bit of sarcasm going back and forth Mr. Taurus and I.
I'd certainly love to do it again!

Stuff On Mind//

Well, it's come to my attention that, now, since I am dating Mr. Taurus (yay!), he seems to be just a tad bit more open with his emotions. However, what discourages me is his refusal of any PDA (public display of affection).
Just the other day, I asked him if I could kiss his cheek, but he refused. Though, I was able to rest my head on his shoulder, so I suppose that's some sort of progress.

Difficulties

I feel so frustrated as of late..

Remember how I mentioned I have close friend that is a Pisces? Well...she is very outgoing--quite unlike me...Well, she has been trying to get me to talk to Mr. Taurus more, but the thing is, I don't really like it when she does because as soon as she puts us together, she'll go right in-between us and talk and talk and talk and I don't like competing to speak, so I just don't. I have tried to tell her that I dislike this, but she just tells me she talks because neither of us do. We do try to talk, we just don't have the chance because she just drones on and on :c
I've been thinking of talking to Mr. Taurus about this, since he is very understanding of my train of thought, but I feel like it's not fair to my Pisces friend since she's just trying to help, I guess...

Good News!!

I'm rather excited today!

Last night, Mr. Taurus asked me to accompany him to a dance this Saturday, and I hopefully will be able to go (as my parents are being tough on me). In addition, I was able to bring up one of my grades a good amount in a class that is giving me so, so, very much stress.
So, this week has been a good week so far! I'll see where tomorrow ends and hopefully--along with Saturday--it will be good!

Thoughts

Today I feel rather stressed. High-strung, impatient, and restless--all not very good for me at all, aha.

Perhaps I'm just on edge on something that is to happen but anticipating it way too much. Preparation can only do so much in love, after all, it is a rather fickle matter. Despite this, I'll just sip my tea with my legs crossed daintily in hopes that everything will calm down sooner rather than later.

Updates~

In all honesty, I feel like I'm on cloud 9!

Things are going well with Mr. Taurus, though no relationship yet (but still very good progress). He's starting to be more aloof, though...I mean, he does want to talk and texts back just as quickly, but in person he's more quiet and I, as a worrier, feel like I'm doing something wrong, or--perhaps--he is starting to like me more and is getting nervous (he is like that as a person and was afraid to like me more than he does because he didn't want our relationship to suffer as he would have difficulty with mussing up courage to talk to me).